So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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