The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
