Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
