omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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