used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
