so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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