Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I smell stomach acid.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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