My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
