Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
