you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
