Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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