I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
im having a threesome with these popsicles
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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