The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
