It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
