lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
