Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
