Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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