I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
