i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
