Sorry, I don't speak sober.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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