super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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