Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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