I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
