is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
