No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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