I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
