its not stalking. its research.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
