are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
