Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
