You work out of a Hotel?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
