i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
