Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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