Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
