If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
