That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she looked like the before picture.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
