It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
