Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
