my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
