Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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