remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
