Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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