i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
