i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
