I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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