I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
