singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
