I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
