1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
