Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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