Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
