There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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